In the previous newsletter, I told you about the first two emails I'd sent to galleries.
I was expecting a big fat ''no'', which would have - in a way - comforted me as I sometimes regard myself as some sort of fraud, or a big fat reassuring ''yes'' that would have legitimated my status as an illustrator. Sometimes, life is funny. The only answer I received was: ''your artistic world is too childish and even though we like it, we cannot afford to have you on board because we already have children book illustrators''. Following these emails, I spent two days questioning everything: on one hand, I'm not a children book illustrator because my target audience is not specifically children, but on the other hand, I'm not an adult-based illustrator either as I do not draw specifically for adults. At this stage, it would be logical to ask myself who I draw for, and the answer would be simple: I draw for those who need gentleness and naivety in their lives.
I am lucky to have a husband who knows me better than I know myself and who's not impressed with my ''ice cream, duvet and Miranda''* (*a British TV series) phase. After the authorised two days of ''grieving'', he said something that troubled me: ''your issue is not that you draw for children but that the theme of your drawings seem to be children. Change the theme but keep your style.''. The theme? What does he mean by that?
Would it be possible that I'd spent more time thinking about where my drawings would go than understanding what message I was sending through them?
Before knowing to whom they're addressed, do I even know what I'm drawing about? What story do I want to tell?
The most desperate and violent answer followed: I talk with my non-cynical naive eye about my childhood memories, boredom, loneliness, the impression of being small in a big world, my inability to understand this fast-running modern society and the simple pleasures of life that we miss because of it, what cannot be bought, what's the most human: feelings, memories. I also talk about people and what they do or feel, and do one-image stories, just like one would take a photo.
It is with this idea in mind that I started creating pieces for my portfolio (yes, the one I paid subscription for for two years without even using it), finished my two Christmas cards, put the galleries on the side, sent an email to a boutique and a magazine to ask if they'd be interested in my work and also, I decided to create images for two card editors and one of them - whose speciality is birth announcements - already follows me on Instagram.
I am drawing more adults, even though it still feels like I'm drawing for children's books but in the end, I realise that it's not so bad because it's my way of telling stories. We often think that what we do sucks, that no one cares, that we don't belong and that we're never enough or this or that but, like Andy J Pizza says: ''forge your path''. Knowing what we're talking about and who we are is the first step in order to know who we want to talk to and where we (don't) want to go. This is how I now know that I am a one-image story teller but I do not close the door on the possibility of telling stories in 7 or 8 images if I find a way to create something that matches with my disgust of repetition ( especially if it’s for Rue Leontine or a winter fairytale ).
PS: On the morning I wrote this newsletter, I received a reply from the said boutique which asked me to get back to them as soon as I have new material, as for now they're not looking for any new collaborations because they're fully stocked.
Am I the only one fighting with labels or trying my art can fit ? I’ll be happy to read your thoughts and experiences on that !
See you in two weeks
Love
Bc
It's great that you are figuring things out ! Maybe the contrast between your style and your themes is what will make you stand out ! I love your illustration "the taste of love" ! <3
Not to be a buzzkill but... either accept that you take a risk and may not make any money (i.e. starving artist) if you proceed with doing what you love, or make the changes necessary to make money. This is a familiar conundrum for creative people. You could hit the jackpot. Who knows? But the world is what the world is. Maybe the answer is to do a little bit of both?